Well that was awkward. I recently experienced an impromptu live reading from my poetry collection, A Year in Love: Daily Glimpses of Life’s Most Worthwhile Virtue. Even though I was not the reader, hearing my words read aloud to a group of strangers felt a bit weird at first, but it wasn’t all bad.
A good friend of mine periodically throws Sunday afternoon dinner parties at his home for no reason other than to celebrate food and fellowship among his friends and family. These gatherings are wonderful, almost therapeutic. Invitees often bring beverages, salads, side dishes, and desserts to share with everyone and the thirty or forty people who show up for these gatherings generally leave stuffed but happy. I seldom know more than a few people there, but that never seems to matter. There is always much laughter, no arguments started, no judgments passed, and everyone pretty much just wants to enjoy one another’s company.
And so it was on this cold Sunday in February when my wife Karen and I found ourselves seated around our friend Frank’s dining room table with a number of people, all but one of whom we had never met before, eating copious amounts of fantastic homemade food and talking about everything under the sun. After everyone had eaten and had settled into socializing, an attractive, dark haired stranger came into from another room and sat with me just long enough to extract the details behind the spinach mandarin salad I had brought. It’s a sought-after recipe that a work associate introduced to me twenty years ago and I was only too happy to pass it on to her.
Moments later, our host stepped in to see how everyone was doing, held up his copy of my book for everyone to see, talked it up for a quick minute, and then pointed to me adding, “…and this is the author; you should talk to him about it!” With that, Frank tossed the book onto the table and went off to visit several other tables that had been strategically set up throughout the first floor of his home to accommodate everybody. A flurry of questions ensued as people began passing my book around the table. What had I written? How did I write it? Why did I write it? I did my best to satisfy their curiosity.
An older gentleman, who had been sitting at one end of the table, began leafing through the book as our Q&A session continued. During a brief lull in the conversation, he held up one finger for attention and asked, “Michael, would it be alright if I read one of your poems to everyone?” Nobody had ever asked me this before.
“Of course,” I replied, having thought of no reason to object. And with that, the gentleman read his selection.
“May 28,” he began. I should point out that all but one of the poems have no titles, but are simply marked with a day of the year. “Sometimes I gently trace the contours of your lips with one finger,” he began. The entire table had fallen silent, hanging on every word. I tensed up when he got to the part about “…memorizing every aspect of your delightful mouth…” and prayed silently that no one would laugh out loud at my words. But when the reading had concluded, nobody was laughing. There was just this stillness, as if the words were still landing after having been read aloud.
I glanced over at my dear reader as he looked up from the book, drew a prolonged breath, and then exhaled slowly with lips pursed and eyebrows arched skyward, as if he had just set down something heavy. One of the ladies fanned herself as another uttered one word, “Wow.”
“That bad, eh?” I offered.
“No!”
“Not at all!” The responses came in a flurry.
“There’s just… no mistaking the feeling behind it.” I took that as a compliment as the conversation rolled along. A delightful lady who had joined our table just prior to our spontaneous poetry reading shared with me her own writing aspirations. I think the book idea she’s working on would be a hoot to read and I hope she sees it through to fruition.
An hour or so later, as my wife and I were preparing to depart, I went looking for our host, to bid him goodbye and thank him for his hospitality. “Hey, Frank,” I called out upon finding him, “you should have seen it. This one guy started reading my book out loud and…”
Frank stopped me in midstream. “I saw the whole thing,” he said with a knowing grin. “I was watching you guys from the hallway.” I guess it’s not easy to scoop my friend, especially in his own house.
I love gatherings like this because they remind me of the extended family gatherings of my youth. The attention that my book and I got, thanks to my friend, was merely icing on the cake, but the love, warmth, and camaraderie — to say nothing of all that fabulous food and drink — that was the cake!
We don’t need anymore books! My wife and I have more volumes shelved, stacked, and stuffed throughout our home than we could ever hope to read during whatever remains of our respective lives. Adding more to the overflow is just not logical. This truth has never stopped us from regularly going out on our book hunts, mind you. So far it hasn’t even slowed us down. And few things are more alluring in these pursuits than a good used bookstore, those celebrated purveyors of used and antiquarian printed matter. The best of these establishments are full of character and sometimes a few characters, too. The structure in which these are found doesn’t much matter. We have discovered awesome booksellers in strip malls, repurposed warehouses, and wonderfully timeworn buildings. The real magic, the allure of a good used bookshop, is always on the inside.
We will often incorporate book hunting day treks into our birthday celebrations, anniversary celebrations, and spontaneous “let’s get out of here” days. Such was the case recently when we decided to celebrate Karen’s birthday and Valentine’s Day with a little daytime road trip down to Springfield, Illinois to checkout a shop called Prairie Archives.
On the way down, we stopped at Wally’s, a travel-themed mega fuel center, convenience store, gift shop, popcorn stand and more, with really clean restrooms. The only Illinois location is just off Interstate 55 near Pontiac. Road travelers who appreciate places like Sapp Bros. Travel Centers and Iowa 80, aka The World’s Largest Truckstop, will also appreciate Wally’s. Try the popcorn.
Image from Google Maps
Prairie Archives is nestled in a row of shops on the Old State Capitol Plaza. The Old State Capitol Historic Site, the centerpiece of this plaza, is currently closed for restoration and site improvement projects. Visitors can’t get much more downtown that this location, but motor vehicles are not allowed anywhere on the plaza, which includes Washington and Adams Streets between 5th and 6th Streets. As such, it’s not possible to park in front of Prairie Archives or on the portions of 5th and 6th Streets adjacent to the plaza. Parking anywhere near the plaza can be, shall we say, interesting. This presented a potential challenge for my wife, who uses a mobility scooter to traverse distances of any consequence, but we were optimistic.
We thought we had it made when we drove down the tight entrance ramp into an underground parking garage directly beneath the plaza. With the Old Capitol Building closed, there seemed to be plenty of vacant parking spaces down there, including an ADA spot right next to the Adams Street pedestrian exit. Alas, when we tried to exit there, we discovered an “out of order” sign on the elevator, which would have been the only ADA-friendly exit available. We even tried buzzing the locked door beneath the temporarily closed Old Capitol Site, and eventually a guy came out apologizing and letting us know there was no safe way for Karen to get out of that underground garage. Fortunately, they didn’t charge us for parking.
Did I mention that the down ramp into the garage is tight? Baby, that’s nothing compared to the up ramp, which is not only tighter than the down ramp, but also blind until the very point of exit. Once out, we began circling city blocks and eventually snatched an ADA space with a two-hour parking limit, as opposed to the fifteen minute spots that are common in this area. From what we were told, they don’t seem to enforce the meters by the old capitol, but they strictly enforce those time limits. Go figure. In any case, we had our space and only had to walk a couple or so blocks up 6th Street, which took us past some official-looking state and federal offices as well as the Lincoln-Herndon Law Offices, the only remaining building in which Abraham Lincoln maintained a law office, also closed for renovation as of this writing.
Moments later, we were at our destination. The storefront facade of Prairie Archives is meticulously maintained but also a bit misleading. At first glance, a first-time visitor might be fooled into thinking that this is just a small shop, a quick in-and-out for most book browsers. Oh, but fooled is the right word! Once inside, visitors will discover that the shop goes on and on from front to back, with additional rooms off one side, all of it covered with volumes and volumes of books. Printed art, too.
As is the case with all good used bookstores, the bookshelves at Prairie Archives are tall, plentiful, and full. I found my head starting to spin as I attempted to look over all the titles in my favorite sections, but I was grinning the whole time. Every so often I came across a card sticking out of a row telling patrons that there were over 20,000 more books shelved elsewhere and that the staff is always glad to look up specific titles in their database, to see if they are available. That friendly staff, by the way, quickly became one of my favorite things about this shop. They were always available to answer questions, explain the layout, and more.
There is also a friendly shop mascot, a smallish, cream-colored Golden Retriever named Lola, who greeted us when we arrived and checked up on us a couple of times while we were browsing. Never intrusive, Lola would just calmly approach to make sure we were okay and to see if we wanted to pet her. Of course we always wanted to pet her. Then she would wander off in search of other patrons. Karen and I are both extremely fond of shop animals, be they dogs, cats, birds, or something completely different. Shop pets tend to add character and enrich the customer experience. They tell us something about the owner, too. This is something you will never find in a big chain store.
Visiting bookstores has always felt like an adventure to me. This goes all the way back to my childhood years. My family was never wealthy and there were plenty of times growing up when my folks had to say “no” to this or that thing that I wanted them to buy for me. But to the best of my recollection, they never said no to getting a book. I had an aunt who sometimes took me to downtown Chicago and we would often stop at Kroch’s & Brentano’s, which was then the largest bookstore in the city. She always allowed me to choose a book and so I discovered the joy of bookstore browsing at a very young age.
As I was perusing the various aisles and side rooms at Prairie Archives, I began to wonder about the people who never visit places like this, the ones who don’t gain any pleasure or satisfaction from browsing bookstores, libraries, and such. Or worse yet, those who can’t. Isn’t it sad to realize that there are a substantial number of people in our society who will never know what they have missed in life. From fiction to nonfiction, classics to current events, poetry to comic books (and what a collection this place has), there are entire worlds and endless possibilities shelved in places like this, just waiting to be discovered by ordinary people like you and me..
I left with only addition to my personal collection, The Portable Oscar Wilde. The Viking Portable Library is a series that originated during World War II. The compilations were intended to be carried by soldiers fighting in the war, who were forced to move around often and travel light. The series itself continued growing into the 1970s and my particular paperback was published in 1981. It’s in remarkable condition and provides well over 700 pages of Wilde’s works. Not bad for five bucks, eh? My wife, as usual, came away with a handful of finds, including two more books from a children’s series that she has been collecting for decades. We were in there for well over ninety minutes and both came away quite satisfied.
There are at least three big used bookstores within about an hour of each other in this part of the state. We could easily have visited two that day, but as we intended to get home (about 180 miles) ahead of an approaching winter storm, we opted to head back after this one. We have been to one of the others, twice in fact, but Prairie Archives is the only one I have presented here thus far. Could someone visit all three in a single day? Yes, I’m sure they could, but it would be a long day indeed, as this would require arriving at the first store when it opens and likely leaving the third at or around closing time. Could be a fun overnight road trip, though. Or you could just be like us and keep coming back. Ha!
More to come. And as always, thanks for hanging with me.
The whole thing began as a game. From 2018 through 2020, I had been amusing myself by creating motivational posts across several social media platforms, just to see if I could keep it going. By the end of 2020, though, that game had gotten old. I enjoyed the mental stimulation that the creative exercise provides, but ironically, I discovered that I had been losing my motivation to write motivational blurbs. After all, there are only so many ways to convey the same principles. At some point, a person either gets it or they don’t. But I had no desire to stop creating. All I needed was a new challenge.
My final choice came down to bad jokes or love poems and I chose the latter because I wasn’t sure whether I could come up with an original bad joke a day for a year. Love, on the other hand, has always been a favorite subject of mine and even though I didn’t fancy myself a poet, I was pretty sure I could deliver amorous free verse (short prose) poetry on a daily basis. And that’s exactly what I did. Every day from New Year’s Day through New Year’s Eve of 2021, I posted a different free verse love poem, never more than I could fit onto a square Instagram image. Nobody was ever going to equate me with William Shakespeare, but some of my followers enjoyed the ride and I had fun in the process.
While not every detail I wrote was autobiographical, the feelings behind them were genuine. Admittedly, that took some doing. Night after night, I reached back into every loving relationship I’d ever had and harvested all the positive physical and emotional sensations I could. Fortunately, I have a strong sense of recall so going back forty years or more wasn’t as difficult as one might think. And I only took the positive parts and none of the heartbreak, anger, or frustration.
About halfway through, I began to entertain thoughts of binding the poems into a book, after they had all been written, and self-publishing my year-long collection of romantic bits. And why not, I reasoned, it should be easy once all the poems had been written. Looking back now, I want to shout at that guy, “Oh, you foolish man, you!” I had grossly underestimated the task at hand. By a lot.
Seriously, I thought I’d have the darned book out within a year. When it became obvious that wasn’t going to happen, I made arrangements to steal away to a hotel up in Wisconsin for a few days to assess the job at hand and begin giving my proposed book some structure (see My Self-Imposed Seclusion). This was where I realized just what I had gotten myself into. First off, not all of my material was suitable for publication. It’s one thing to fire off a few lines of affection and post them on social media, but it’s a whole ‘nother thing to arrange them into a book that people want to pay for. And the key word is arrange. Besides the edits, rewrites, and outright replacements that surely lay ahead. None of these poems — 365 of them — had been released in any kind of logical order. Holy cow! Well, at least I’d had the foresight to bring some good wine along.
Imagine looking at 365 randomly written poems that had to be sorted out somehow. They had a common theme, but there had been no clear flow between them, no story to be told. None of them even had titles. I began looking at them individually, not with the intent of editing but just to see if I could at least place them into buckets.
“That’s it, buckets!” I exclaimed aloud, startling myself, to say nothing of whoever may have been in the neighboring rooms at the time. But I had no time to lose. I went back to the beginning of the pile and began placing each raw, unedited poem into one of four imaginary buckets, each representing a three-month quarter. The first quarter represented beginnings: meeting someone, being attracted to someone, becoming smitten with someone, you know, the early stages of love, in whatever form it might take. The second quarter dealt more with earthy, physical affection. Advancement, if you will, but still at a gut level. The third bucket was for the poems that attempted to see past mere physical affection. And the last bunch were the ones reaching for fruition, for something more permanent than the earlier pieces.
Lacking titles, I assigned each poem to a day of the year. Everything was still tentative at this point, but at last I had a loose sense of logic regarding how these poems would be presented in book form. I even added a placeholder for a 366th poem, not yet written, that would be devoted to February 29, the Leap Day.
Three days later, I thought I knew what I was doing. I left my Wisconsin hideaway with a logical structure for the book and one month out of the twelve drafted. As it turns out, I would still be making adjustments to my plan for two more years. That’s a very important strategic principle, by the way. When things don’t go the way you thought they would, as long as you’re sure of the goal you set, you make changes to the plan, not the goal.
From the beginning, my intent had been to self-publish this book, mainly because so many of the poems, or raw versions of them, had been placed in public view on social media platforms. Self-publishing gives the author a lot of control over all aspects of the book, but with that control comes responsibility — and quite a bit of work. The final manuscript had to be delivered as a 100% print-ready file meeting a lengthy list of technical, artistic, and legal requirements, enough to make a newcomer’s head spin. And every little change, whether to the content, the layout, or even from one file type to another, was an opportunity for something else to go wrong.
The first full draft of the book, including all the front and back matter, was completed sometime during the second half of 2024. Knowing I am my own worst proofreader, I asked my wife, who had worked as a public relations writer and editor in a past life, to have at my manuscript and give me her suggested edits. This she did no fewer than five times, including the proof copy, finding things that had passed before my eyes unnoticed. Besides the usual typos and grammatical glitches, Karen drew my attention to passages that despite being correct as written, I was able to make better. This is what a good editor does.
The most stressful part, for me, was the actual publishing. Despite having launched a half-dozen corporate websites, developed and contributed to various blogs, and even executed a few million-dollar direct-marketing campaigns during my professional career, I was as nervous as a kid on his first date putting out this little poetry book. There were so many choices to be made and questions to be answered, each a good bit of research. Then came the cover art, the marketing plan, and so forth. By the time I got to it, making the final click that would set everything in motion, was like pulling the trigger on a 10-gauge shotgun.
And then it’s over. A Year in Love: Daily Glimpses of Life’s Most Worthwhile Virtue, available in paperback and ebook editions, was officially published on December 17, 2024. The copyright registration process, a task in itself, is underway, as are some basic marketing activities, but the book is done. It feels so good to say, “I did it,” but there is also a letdown from realizing that the job is finished. Almost 30 years ago, when I finished my first full-color product catalog project, I told the head of the agency that had handled the project that I was both glad and sorry to be done with it. “Yeah,” she replied, “it’s kind of like the postpartum period.” Being a guy, I can’t know firsthand what giving birth is like, but my sense of things is that she was correct.
Sometimes you find the holiday spirit and sometimes the holiday spirit finds you!
I had to be out of my mind, going to the evil empire (aka Walmart) the day before Thanksgiving, but I needed a few staple items to complete my contribution to the small feast being hosted by my sister. The store was a fifteen-minute drive from my home, not counting the pre-holiday afternoon traffic, and my list was a short one. How bad could it be?
AI image generated by ImageFX with inputs from Michael G. D’Aversa
Yeah, it could be pretty bad. Still, not everything was as bad as it should have been, or even as bad as it usually is. For example. the afternoon traffic in my hometown of 45,000 or so people begins to get slow and heavy after 2:00 PM, just about the time I was heading out, but my fifteen-minute drive took… fifteen minutes, if that much. The traffic was there, but it was moving smoothly, the traffic lights all seemed to be in my favor as I rolled along, and everything just seemed to flow.
As I turned in to the immense Walmart parking lot, I saw exactly what I expected to see, namely cars everywhere and drivers behaving badly. After observing a near-accident between two vehicles vying for the same few square feet of intersection at the same time, I turned into my usual lane and saw nothing ahead of me, except for a white SUV backing out of its space, thus providing me with the only parking spot to be found on that drive lane. I smiled in disbelief and pulled into my freshly vacated space. Assuming that there might be a shortage of shopping carts inside, I selected a usable cart with four fully functioning wheels from a nearby corral and walked on into the store, oddly enough, still smiling.
To put it nicely, the store was filled with humanity. Last-minute shoppers, like me, filled every aisle. They competed with numerous employees pushing pick carts and pulling orders. Nobody seemed to be smiling. I realized that I was still smiling, partly because I was only there to grab a few missing staples, but also because I was just enjoying my afternoon, despite being surrounded by negativity, frustration, resignation, and anger. Trust me, you could see it on their faces.
Some of them looked positively insulted to be there — or rather, that anybody else had the nerve to be there when they were trying to get their all-important shopping done. Some looked alarmed at the prices. Most looked rushed. I came across one lady carefully looking over a rack of almost-expired baked goods, hoping against hope to find something special with which to grace her holiday table. I was moved by the sight. I saw one most interesting couple, a determined and angry husband grabbing this and that item from the shelves while his wife followed a good couple of yards behind him, her face filled with resignation. I smiled at her, but she didn’t even see me.
In the midst of it all, one person did see me. A middle-aged employee, apparently of South Asian origin, brought her order picking cart to a sudden halt in order to avoid blocking me as I came around a blind corner with my shopping cart. She lowered her head, probably expecting me to be scowling at her for almost getting in my way, but she glanced up just in time see me nod and smile at her. The employee’s eyes brightened and she smiled back at me as we each continued along our intended path.
Surely the worst was yet to come. Wouldn’t you think so? But as interesting as my visit had been so far, this next part seems almost surreal in hindsight.
As I emerged from the shopping aisles and made my way toward the checkout lanes, much to my amazement, there was no queue! That is, the waiting lane, lined with all manner of candy bars and other impulse items, had nobody standing in it. Up at the front, where there is usually an employee directing each shopper to the next available self-checkout station, stood nobody. I walked right into the checkout area and, not being much for doing self-checkout if I can help it, I looked over and spotted a human-staffed checkout lane about to be vacated and completely open. On a Wednesday afternoon, the day before Thanksgiving, with so many people crowding each and every aisle behind me? What are the odds!
AI image generated by ImageFX with inputs from Michael G. D’Aversa
The lane I had chosen was being manned by a thin, elderly gentleman with pure white hair and a ruddy complexion made more apparent by the red elf’s cap he was wearing. He looked up and smiled at me as I approached, seeming genuinely glad to be there waiting for me. Again, what are the odds? I returned his smile as I arrived at his station. “Good afternoon,” I said to the man as I began to empty my cart.
“Yes, it is a good afternoon,” he replied. At this point, I almost spun out of my shoes to look at him and I began to seriously wonder if there was a hidden camera somewhere. But no, the gaunt old gent proceeded to check me out without incident.
A rather dour-looking individual with a very full shopping cart had pulled in behind me, almost but not quite patiently waiting his turn as he inched ever closer into my personal space. I paid the poor soul no heed, as I had been thoroughly occupied enjoying my interaction with my cheerful checkout clerk, who then announced my total, processed my electronic payment, and cheerfully handed me my receipt. We eagerly bade each other a good afternoon and a happy Thanksgiving as I loaded my cart and headed out.
I tell you, nothing went as expected. As I approached the store exit, receipt in hand, the security specialist looked at me from a slight distance, smiled and waved me on toward the door. I looked at her again as I drew closer, wanting to give her a second chance to verify my purchases, but again she waved me on calling out, “You have a nice afternoon!” Wow.
Photo by Michael G. D’Aversa
And so it went. My drive home was as uneventful as my drive out, our Thanksgiving meal went off without a hitch, and the holiday season is now underway. And through it all, I keep thinking about that little old man and the oh-so-pleasant exchange we’d shared amidst the chaos. The whole thing seemed planned somehow.
Most years, especially since I have grown older, I struggle to get into the holiday spirit, often finding it just in time for Christmas Day. But not this year. For me, the magic started in the most unlikely of places. I hope the magic finds you, too.
On Tuesday morning, it was time to leave Clarksdale and head up to Memphis, Tennessee. Built on a bluff just across the state line from Mississippi, Memphis is where the Mississippi Delta begins and has been called the capital of the Delta by some. The Blues Highway, US 61, leads through the Mississippi Delta country to Memphis and many delta blues musicians traveled north to and through this gateway city. Both rock and roll and soul music were born there. And coincidentally, my family and I first traveled to Memphis over 20 years ago at the invitation of my friend Matt to meet up with him and and his family to tour the city and spend some quality time together.
We left the Shack Up Inn and headed up Highway 61, stopping for breakfast at a Waffle House near Tunica, which is popular for its casinos. Matt and I don’t gamble, but as you may have noticed, we do eat. You already saw my standard Waffle House breakfast, so no food pic this time. Interestingly enough, though, this particular restaurant has a sizable water retention pond running beside the highway. Because of the pond’s elongated shape, at first glance, I thought it might be a creek. But upon closer examination, we determined that it was a pond and that it was inhabited by a fair number of turtles. Spoiled turtles. They were so used to being fed by well-meaning restaurant patrons, any time somebody would walk up to the pond’s edge, the turtles would all swim over expecting food. This was an amusing sight to see.
It probably took longer in the 19th century, but today one can drive from Clarksdale to Memphis in well under two hours. As we approached the metro area, we opted to skip the Interstate and stayed on US 61. This took a little longer and brought us through some vastly different areas of the city, which may be considered good or bad depending upon the eye of the beholder. Matt and I both appreciate the non-touristy side of this world and besides, we were in absolutely no hurry.
Despite having taken our time, we got into Memphis far too early to check into our hotel, so we opted to visit the Stax Museum of American Soul Music, a favorite for both of us. Even though Stax was forced into involuntary bankruptcy at the end of 1975, their legacy lives on. Booker T. & The MGs, the Staple Singers, Isaac Hayes, Sam and Dave, and Otis Redding, just to name a few, were all Stax recording artists. Thanks to the local community leaders who formed The Soulsville Foundation, the Stax Museum now stands on the former site of the Stax Records. And right next door, the Stax Music Academy and the Soulsville Charter School were also made possible by this same foundation. It’s a hell of a story.
Matt had proposed eating supper at Gus’s World Famous Hot and Spicy Fried Chicken in downtown Memphis, which was the chain’s first Memphis location and in fact only the second Gus’s location before it became a chain. Gus’s serves up southern spicy (not the same as Nashvillel hot) fried chicken, which is very flavorful but not painfully spicy. We opened with an appetizer of fried green tomatoes — my first time — which were quite tasty. Then Matt had a plate of fried chicken while I opted for their “limited time only” hot and spicy chicken sandwich, which is made with a boneless thigh, not a breast. Everything was quite good.
From there we walked to The Green Beetle, the oldest tavern in Memphis, located on the opposite side of the same block as Gus’s. This place had originally opened in 1939 as The Green Beetle Cafe and enjoyed some rather famous visitors before morphing into a dive bar and changing hands several times until rising to its current iteration, owned by the grandson of the Beetle’s original founder. It was okay, and reminded me of the college bars I used to frequent back in the day, though I think we had been expecting a bit more charm. Also, just a word to the wise, which way you walk around the block from Gus’s really matters. It’s almost upscale on one side of that block and sort of war-torn on the other.
The following day, after sleeping in a bit, we enjoyed lunch at a favorite spot that Matt had introduced me to a couple of decades ago: The Four Way Soul Food Restaurant, the oldest of its kind in Memphis. Although The Four Way was frequented by the likes of Elvis Presley and Dr. Martin Luther King, it’s not exactly a tourist destination. What it is, though, is a phenomenal soul food restaurant with a longstanding reputation as a gathering place where black and white diners can eat together — not a common thing for the place and time this restaurant was established (1946) and the years that followed.
I have never had a bad meal at this place. Matt had the chicken fried steak, black eyed peas, and pickled green tomatoes. I had a fork-tender, smothered pork chop, black eyed peas, and turnip greens. Both of us finished off with a delicious peach cobbler. Everything was wonderful, as always.
As an aside, I was sad to learn that the gentleman who had greeted me at the door so many years ago, Willie Bates, had passed away in 2017. I’ll never forget the way he greeted us and made us feel welcome, telling us the story of how he had bought The Four Way out of a desire to give back to the neighborhood. On my way out the door that first time, I walked over to tell him how much I had enjoyed eating there. I’ll swear, I thought the man was going to cry. That kind of thing sticks with me.
Next, we went over to The Blues Foundation’s Blues Hall of Fame Museum. Although the Hall of Fame has existed since 1980, this museum opened in 2015 and so, did not exist the last time I had been to Memphis. What a place! This museum was designed to provide an interactive and sensory experience. Besides all of the artwork, artifacts, displays, and recordings, for an additional charge, visitors can experience the museum’s interactive hologram exhibit featuring Taj Mahal. The Blues Hall of Fame is only the second museum in the United States to have utilized this technology. For about twenty minutes, Matt and I asked questions and this life-sized, three dimensional recording of Taj answered them. I’ll swear, he looked like he was gonna’ step out of that box any moment. But that was just the icing on the cake. The entire museum is great and well worth visiting.
For supper, Matt found us another hidden gem: Sam’s Deli of Memphis. Sam’s features a variety of Indian specialties but the menu overall can best be described as global. After opening with vegetable samosas an naan, Matt had this huge Italian salad and I enjoyed an equally huge sandwich called Mango Bonfire, made with Indo-Chinese chili chicken. The food was delicious and the portions more than generous. It’s best to come hungry to Sam’s!
We spent the final evening of our road trip on historic Beale Street, as it seemed fitting to do so. Beale Street had been a music hotspot long before it ever became a tourist attraction. Since the mid-1800’s, around the time of the Civil War, Beale was home to Black-owned businesses, clubs, restaurants, and shops. This is where the Delta musicians used to come up to play for Black audiences. Today the historic Beale Street district is considered the top tourist attraction in the state of Tennessee.
I had made only one request and that was to visit some clubs other than my favorite, the Rum Boogie Cafe. While I do love the Rum Boogie, it was the only club on Beale Street that I had been to thus far. So instead, we wandered into 152 Beale Street, which I believe was called “Club 152” once upon a time. Currently, this establishment seems to maintain absolutely no online presence. It’s a big place with two bars and seating throughout, including a row facing streetside. There was a band playing, a pretty good one, too, but not too many people were hanging out in there. I was not able to figure out the band’s name, but they deserved a bigger audience than they had. The bartender was pleasant enough, but again, not very busy. Matt and I listened to the band as we enjoyed our drinks, and then moved on.
We briefly — and I do mean briefly — ducked into another establishment, whose name I cannot recall, and quickly discovered that (a) it was open mike night and (b) the doofus at the mike was really drunk, really getting into the song he was singing, and really, really devoid of any talent whatsoever. We walked out faster than we had walked in and headed over to B.B. King’s Blues Club, a super popular place. We paid our cover, got seated, and stayed for a while. The band, who seemed to specialize in R&B and rock and roll covers, was extraordinarily polished. Although I had been hoping to hear more blues that night, I must admit they were quite good. The place was pretty full for a weeknight and the servers seemed to be working hard to keep up. On the bright side, my drinks were good and strong. It was a good way to finish the night.
Before leaving Memphis Thursday morning, we found our way to Brother Juniper’s, a delightful and truly local breakfast restaurant that is also highly supportive of its community. I gorged myself on a couple of huge blueberry pancakes with a side of thick-sliced bacon and a mug of steaming black coffee as I contemplated how I was going to lose all the extra weight I had surely put on over the course of the past week. As much as this trip had been about the music, it also proved to be a decadent excursion into southern cuisine — and I ain’t talking health food.
After we had both eaten our fill, we gassed up the car and headed north out of Memphis on Interstate 55. Within minutes, the skies opened up and let loose with a heavy thunderstorm and torrential rain. The storm eventually subsided, but that rain would follow us all the way to Illinois.
Once in Illinois, per Matt’s request, we took a planned detour to Tower Grove Cemetery in Murphysboro to pay our respects at the gravesite of Larry “Big Twist” Nolan. When we were younger, both Matt and I had been fans of Big Twist and the Mellow Fellows, a blues band that had become a top draw on the nightclub circuit in the 1970s and ’80s. The band played at Marquette University, where we had gone to college, every year that I was there, I think. It was still raining when we got out of the car and walked over to his gravestone. I had been there once before, so I knew exactly where to find it. We talked a little bit, took some photos, and then departed for home.
Unbeknownst to either of us, two days after we had made that stop, the Murphysboro Historical Society was to unveil a historical marker dedicated to Big Twist, who had lived in Murphysboro and raised his family there. We have already agreed that the next time we are in that area, we must return to Murphysboro to view the marker.
The drive back to Plainfield was a long one, but save for a brief scare when we kept smelling raw gasoline (not ours), it was uneventful. I was deeply touched when at one point I asked Matt what part of our journey he had enjoyed most and he pointed to me, submitting that it had been a long, long time since we had talked “like we used to.” That much was true. Once upon a time, it would not have been unusual for us to stay up into the night, spinning yarns, painting dreams, or solving the problems of the world. As we get older and take on the burdens that typically accompany adulthood, life sometimes distracts us from that which is most important. I will strive to remember this going forward.
Our journey concluded that Thursday night. Matt continued on to his home and I basked in the glow of it all as I began to unpack. We had ventured out in search of the blues and in that regard, we were successful. I can’t wait to do something like this again!
Well, this has been a long one, four installments worth. If you have been following along the entire time, I am grateful to you and, as always, I thank you for hanging with me.
Not everything is open on Sundays and/or Mondays in Clarksdale. The juke joints are silent and many shops are closed, even some that claim to have hours. But what is open can be absolutely wonderful and deserves to be experienced. After doing a bit of research, Matt and I planned our activities and proceeded to thoroughly enjoy the rest of our stay in town.
After enjoying a nice breakfast at Grandma’s House of Pancakes on Third Street on Sunday morning, we took a short ride beyond the downtown area to the intersection of US Highways 61 and 49, the legendary crossroads where some believe a young delta blues musician named Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil to become a famous blues guitar player. Whether or not this ever happened, seeing the famed crossroads was an item on my bucket list, an item that has now been crossed off.
Yes, I have been to the crossroads, though I chose not to go at midnight. I have enough problems already; I don’t need any new ones. It’s a pretty busy intersection nowadays and on one corner of that intersection, we noticed a renowned BBQ restaurant, but it was not open at the time, so we went back the following day for lunch. More on that later.
We spent a fair amount of time, both Sunday and Monday, in the downtown area walking around, exploring, and determining what was open on either day. Four things are prevalent in downtown Clarksdale. For openers, murals are everywhere, some of them quite good. You can’t walk very far without seeing a mural painted on the side of a building, or on the face in some cases. These are not acts of graffiti, but intentional works, many of them signed by their respective creators. Most, but not all, have musical themes. These murals are best appreciated while on foot. When you’re walking and you come across an interesting mural, it’s easy to stop and look at it; maybe even take a photo or two. When you’re driving, things go by too quickly, even at 25 miles per hour. And besides, your eyes should be on the road, watching for pedestrians, and so forth.
Also prevalent are the local historical markers — freestanding signs and bronze plaques — which share a great deal of information about significant businesses, people, and time periods that affected Clarksdale. Did you know that among other things, the rock and roll/R&B pioneer Ike Turner worked as a disc jockey at WROX Radio? That station is still in operation today, although not in its original location, and we listened to it while driving back and forth between our shack and other parts of Clarksdale. One can get a good sense of what has transpired in this city by reading these markers.
An unfortunate reality in downtown Clarksdale, as can be found in many other communities large and small, is urban decay. Right alongside the active commercial, retail, and residential structures in town are vacant ones, some of which have been abandoned for years already. We walked past a few former storefronts that were not just empty but falling apart.
It’s not all doom and gloom, though. The Ground Zero Blues Club occupies a building that had been empty for decades. On the next block, a former freight depot now houses an excellent museum, which I will get to shortly. Numerous unique and wonderful shops, restaurants, and music venues — some new and some that have been around for quite a while — are still very much in operation. Clarksdale also hosts a variety of festivals throughout the year. All of these things are drawing people from around the world to visit. I’m just one of those people. In my mind’s eye, these are the things that could very well reverse the decline of this city and make Clarksdale become for blues what Branson, MO became for country music.
Speaking of music, that’s the fourth prevalent thing. Communities with a substantial musical heritage are different from other communities in that their musical significance permeates everything. You’ll find it woven into the decor of restaurants and hotels. Their respective event calendars will be peppered with music and music-related happenings. And music won’t just be something to find downtown; for all intents and purposes, it is the downtown. Clarksdale is like that.
We discovered an amazing shop called Cat Head, self-described as “Mississippi’s Blues Store” by its founder, a gentleman named Roger Stolle. Roger is an amazing individual who moved to the already declining city of Clarksdale for the express purpose of promoting the delta blues tradition from within. I hadn’t known that when I visited the store, but it’s really an amazing story. One must visit Cat Head in person to experience what it’s all about. They sell a variety of merchandise, all related to the blues. They host live music performances and have supported or personally executed numerous projects aimed at promoting Clarksdale and its rich history.
Matt and I did not have the pleasure of meeting Roger Stolle while we were there, but we did get to meet another awesome individual. A gentleman named Frank, who had been minding the shop that day, engaged us in conversation as we were perusing the merchandise. When he found out we were staying at the Shack Up Inn, he asked which shack we were in and when Frank learned that we were staying in the Mule, he remarked, “You’re the guys who got moved from the Sweet Honey.” Naturally, I inquired as to how he knew that. Turns out Frank is one of the owners of the Shack Up Inn! Frank is also yet another individual who moved to Clarksdale because he gets what the Shack Up Inn is about and believes in the potential of Clarksdale. Frank is also a friend and fan of Roger Stolle, which is why he was helping out at Cat Head that day.
I had an aunt who would say about certain towns, “They roll up the sidewalks on Sunday evenings,” meaning that just about everything would be closed. I recalled her words as Matt and I began researching our Sunday supper possibilities. Most of the downtown places are not open on Sunday evenings, so we opted to go beyond that area to try Hibachi Buffet, out on State Street, which is well-rated online and open seven days a week. And man, did we strike pay dirt! The sheer variety of cuisine, from Asian specialties to Cajun and soul food dishes, all of them delicious, made me an immediate fan. Even before the pandemic, good buffet restaurants had become few and far between. It’s nice to know that there are still some good ones out there.
The juke joints are also quiet on Sundays, but Clarksdale boasts having live blues seven days a week and they deliver on that promise, too. One need only go as far as Cat Head’s “Sounds Around Town” page to see who’s playing where and when. Now I have to be honest, I wasn’t too sure about going to a hostel to hear blues music, but I was joyfully mistaken. The Auberge Clarksdale Hostel is a very inviting establishment and their Old Madidi Bar, formerly the Madidi Restaurant that was owned by Morgan Freeman and Bill Luckett until 2012, features live blues music in a somewhat intimate setting that Matt and I enjoyed very much.
Our entertainment for the night was provided by Terry “Harmonica” Bean, a delta blues artist — in fact, a very capable one-man blues band — and a most pleasant and personable entertainer. Matt and I found a low table with two comfy chairs by a window, located directly across from where Terry was seated and playing exactly the kind of music we had expected to hear down in the Delta. He played guitar, harmonica, and an amplified stomping board as he sang some of the best blues we would hear on our road trip. And when I say played, I mean worked. That man came on at 7:00 PM and didn’t call it quits until after 10:30 PM, taking only one incredibly short break during that whole time. We absolutely loved it!
On Monday, we returned to the famed crossroads right around 11:00 AM to see what Abe’s Bar-B-Q had to offer. Abraham Davis, a Lebanese immigrant, went into the restaurant business in the 1920’s and eventually moved it to the present location. His son, Pat Davis, Sr, took over the cafe in 1960 and the name was changed from Bungalow-Inn to Abe’s to honor the founder. Mr. Davis’ BBQ has been a regional sensation for 100 years now and judging by the line that had formed by noon, Abe’s remains a favorite with locals and travelers alike. Matt had a plate of hot tamales, which interestingly enough is a delta dish, and I had the Big Abe, a double-decker BBQ pork sandwich topped with coleslaw. Both were quite good and we were very glad that we had the idea to come in ahead of the lunchtime crowd.
Okay, this is a good one. On Third Avenue downtown, next to a former movie theater, is Deak’s Mississippi Saxophones & Blues Emporium, a must-see shop for any blues pilgrim while in Clarksdale. As is the case with Cat Head, you will not find another place on earth quite like Deak’s shop. Part store, part museum, part service center, and just a nice place to stop and visit. Deak Harp, an accomplished musician who used to tour with James Cotton, can take an ordinary off-the-rack harmonica, disassemble it, modify and customize the innards, and build a professional instrument. He did exactly that for Matt, who plays the harmonica on occasion, while we went off to do some more touristy stuff.
Where does one go on a Monday afternoon in Clarksdale to kill ninety minutes or so? I heartily recommend the Delta Blues Museum, which is housed in a former railroad depot just east of the Ground Zero Blues Club. A lot of thought, planning, and work have gone into this place and it shows. Their mission statement says it best: “The Delta Blues Museum is dedicated to creating a welcoming place where visitors find meaning, value, and perspective by exploring the history and heritage of the unique American musical art form of the blues.”
Unfortunately, photography is not allowed inside the museum, so the only photos I have are from the exterior. But within those walls is a vast treasure of exhibits, artifacts, and many, many stories of the blues from its beginnings down in the Mississippi Delta to the global phenomenon that it has become. Although I consider myself a blues aficionado, I really know only a fraction of the whole story. Places like this are where people like me can go to gain additional knowledge and a better perspective on the genre. In truth, we could have stayed longer. There is a lot to see in there! Very cool.
It was just over 90° in the shade when we returned to the shop to complete Matt’s purchase and believe me, we were feeling it. I sent Matt ahead to Deak’s and walked over to my car to fetch some bottled water. When I walked into the shop, I found three gentlemen inside talking. Matt was in an old upholstered chair by the door, Deak was seated at his work desk, and seated in another upholstered chair near Deak sat none other than Charlie Musselwhite, one of the greatest blues harmonica players of our time. A pivotal figure in helping revive the Chicago blues scene in the 1960s, Charles Douglas Musselwhite is a Grammy Award-winning artist who has also won 33 Blues Music Awards and has been inducted into the Blues Hall of Fame. And there he sat, smiling away and passing time with Deak Harp and my friend Matt.
When the opportunity presented itself, just to be sure, I asked, “Excuse me… Is that Charlie?” Everybody nodded, including Charlie. I tried not to gush too much as I stepped over to shake hands and introduce myself. The conversation continued about harmonica playing, life as a blues artist, and so on. Before we left, Matt and I took turns photographing each other with the two blues men, who then continued their visit after we bade them goodbye. I’m sure Matt and I were grinning ear to ear as we walked back to the car.
As we headed back to the Shack Up Inn, I made a point of stopping to snap a photo of a peculiar sight that we saw every day while in Clarksdale. On US Highway 49, between the inn and the city proper, is a railroad crossing at which a long line of freight cars has been uncoupled to allow highway traffic to pass through. What makes it odd is that the line of freight cars extends in both directions as far as the eye can see. And that line never moved or changed during the entire time we were there. The cars aren’t old or rusted. It just appears as if someone long-term parked a very long freight train down here.
We spent our last evening in Clarksdale at the Hopson Commissary, which is located on the same plantation as the Shack Up Inn. This 100-year- old building used to be the commissary for Hopson Farm in the early 1900’s. Now it serves as an event venue and on Monday nights, they feature live music and a homestyle buffet dinner.
The food was wonderful, my beer was cold, and the staff was warm and friendly. On stage, Marshall Drew, a local folk rock singer-songwriter with a pleasant voice and playing style, entertained everybody. This was an easy way for us to finish off our stay in Clarksdale, as we then had an incredibly short drive back to our shack, where we could kick back, relax, and ponder all that we had seen and done during our stay.
We still had one more city to visit on this road trip, but I’ll save that for next time. Thank you so much for hanging with me!
“There’s a sound oozing from the ground And it cuts right through You can only find it Down here in the 662″ — from “662” by Christone “Kingfish” Ingram and Tom Hambridge
Matt and I woke up Saturday morning ready to continue our journey, but not before indulging in a Waffle House breakfast. When I travel, I prefer to eat at establishments that don’t exist where I live. That is, I don’t want to drive hundreds of miles only to end up eating at a Burger King. Yes, Waffle House is a chain, but they have no locations anywhere near my home. Quite frankly, I’d prefer that it stay that way because during my southern travels, that’s what makes eating there special to me.
I always order the same thing, every single time I stop at a Waffle House — pecan waffle, side of bacon, and plenty of black coffee — and for reasons I’m not even sure of, I always snap a photo of my meal before chowing down, usually to share, as I am doing now. I assure you that there is nothing fancy about either my recurring breakfast or the establishment that serves it, but I generally receive positive acknowledgements for fellow Waffle House aficionados. It’s almost a cult thing, like eating at White Castle, though I am seldom compelled to photograph a bag of sliders.
We spent the majority of our day, over five hours, on the road. The first 350 miles or so were on Interstate 55. Then as we got near Memphis, Tennessee we got onto US Highway 61, known as the Blues Highway, and continued south. We were now in the Mississippi Delta, part of the Deep South. The Delta is considered the cradle of the blues and we were headed for a city steeped in blues history as well as legend: Clarksdale, Mississippi.
We arrived in Clarksdale around mid-afternoon and after driving around to get the lay of the historic downtown area, we went south of town to The Shack Up Inn, an unusual and most incredible collection of modernized shotgun shacks, grain bins, and a converted cotton gin. Everything is corrugated tin and Mississippi cypress boards. On the inside, the furnishings are theme-appropriate, but quite clean and with running water, heat, and air conditioning.
We were supposed to get a two-bedroom shack called the Sweet Honey, but due to a ruptured hot water heater in one of the other shacks, they had to move someone else there the day before we arrived. So we got the Mule, which is a new addition to the property. Matt and I both had our concerns when we heard this, but once we saw our shack, our concerns evaporated. The Mule may be a renovated sharecropper shack, but the thing was more than large enough for the two of us. I’ve seen houses smaller than this!
I don’t know what the floors are made of but they’re as solid as all get-out. I could dance a jig in the hallway and not disturb Matt, unless I began singing. One of my favorite parts about the bedroom I took is the heavy writing desk that sits in one corner. It’s got ample room for my laptop, phone, power strip, charging cords, beer, etc. I am writing this update from that desk. Since my room is at the far end of our shack, and this desk is tucked into the far corner of that room, it’s just a cool place to sit and work.
When Matt first suggested staying at The Shack Up Inn, I wasn’t too sure about it. But after he pointed out that these renovated structures had been good enough for the likes of Tom Waits, Elvis Costello, and other celebrities, I became cautiously optimistic. After having spent the first of our three nights here, I kind of wish we could hang around longer. People from other countries who come to Clarksdale in search of blues history stay here. They get it. The people of The Shack Up Inn have developed a very cool concept here.
Once we got settled into our shack, we headed out in search of supper and the live music for which we had come all this way. After all, it was Saturday night. The premier music venue in Clarksdale seems to be the Ground Zero Blues Club, which is owned in part by the popular and talented actor, Morgan Freeman. The club occupies a long-dormant and un-remodeled building that had once belonged to a wholesaler called the Delta Grocery and Cotton Company. So anyone who comes to Clarksdale expecting to see some swanky nightclub is going to be sorely disappointed because opulence is not what the delta blues is about.
As soon as Matt and I got inside, the same young lady who had met us at the door brought us a couple of menus and took our drink orders. As they did not have any draft beers available that night, I asked her whether they had any local brews. She mentioned a few and I could not have gotten any more local than the one I chose: Red Panther Delta Kölsch. The Red Panther Brewing Company is based right in Clarksdale and the beer was delightful.
The band playing at Ground Zero was Chris Pitts & The Memphis Prime, a powerful blues band from Memphis, the northernmost point of the Mississippi Delta. They delivered big on their sound and the band played for hours. They had begun at 8:00 and were still going when Matt and I decided to call it well after 11:00.
We still had a lot left to explore in Clarksdale and I’ll tell you all about it in my next installment. Until then, as always, thanks for hanging with me.
Life happens to us, for us, and all around us. Sometimes things get a bit heavy, even overwhelming. It may ultimately be nothing we can’t handle, but that doesn’t change the sheer weight of it. Long ago I discovered that when faced with a tough assignment or tricky problem, if I just walk away for a while, I often return with a fresh perspective. But can one do that with life? Just walk away for a while? Sure, why not. So I decided to run away from home.
Sometime last year, I had begun toying with this idea to make a run to a city in the deep south with a rich history in Delta blues music. I tossed my idea to an old friend of mine who, like myself, is quite fond of the blues — indeed, of many genres of traditional American music — and he upped the ante by suggesting a road trip that would include three cities, each having its own part in the evolution of the blues. As time went on, we made our plans and, with a little help from our families, are now bringing those plans to fruition.
Matt and I have known each other for almost forty-five years now. We met in 1979 while at college, where we played in a band together, and our friendship grew from there. We attended each other’s weddings, rang in many new years together, started our respective families with in a year of each other, traveled together, etc. Our four children, two apiece, grew up to form lasting friendship bonds of their own. We’ve been though a lot over the decades, both highs and lows. This trip is gonna’ be an experience, no matter what happens.
Day one began with a drive to Dwight, Illinois for hearty breakfast at the Old Route 66 Family Restaurant, located on the southwest corner of Illinois Highway 17 and historic Old Route 66. After breakfast we went kitty corner to the Ambler/Becker Station, which was the last Texaco station operating on the Mother Road. After that, we got on Interstate 55 and headed for St. Louis, MO.
A little over three hours later, we had reached St. Louis and went directly to the National Blues Museum downtown. The museum’s three-dimensional sign is fashioned in the shape of a giant harmonica. Inside, a variety of informational and interactive exhibits convey the story of the blues, not just in this city but across America and abroad. These exhibits weave a story of the evolution of the blues, from its origins through the present day. Among the displays, I saw quite a few names with which I was familiar and quite a few that I did not know well, if at all.
One exhibit that caught my attention was a collection of 900 harmonicas donated by their owner, Jim McClarnes, a St. Louis harmonica player. It’s hard to miss 900 harmonicas arranged on a brick wall and taking up most of that wall’s height.
In all, Matt and I spent a couple of hours at the museum, reading, watching, listening, and talking, as we shared our own experiences and knowledge with each other. I’m glad he had suggested this museum as a stop on our road trip.
By mid-to-late afternoon, we were ready to eat again. As a late lunch/early supper, we selected Sugarfire Smokehouse, a local BBQ chain with a location right by the museum. I had a pulled pork sandwich, while Matt enjoyed some BBQ turkey. The meats and sides are well-prepared and quite tasty.
Once we had eaten our fill, it was time to go to our hotel. After we checked in, Matt and I walked down to the hotel bar for a bit of liquid refreshment before turning in to plan our next day (and so I could tell you about this one).
Next up… well, I’ll tell you about it in my next installment. As always, thanks for hanging with me.
I dislike being made to feel alone in a crowded room. I’m guessing you know what I’m talking about. You find yourself in a place, surrounded by other people, none of whom acknowledge your presence or that of anybody else, except maybe the people with whom they arrived. The ones who come in alone tend to quickly occupy themselves with a mobile device, a book, or the backs of their hands, anything to prevent them from giving some indication that there is anyone else in the room. Not everybody is this way and not every place, either. The traditional barbershops, for example, at least the ones I frequent, still seem capable of supporting a casual chatter among the occupants and the barbers. I enjoy that.
I recently read an interesting article in Fast Company magazine called “How smartphones wrecked bar drinking,” written by Clare Coffey. The author pretty much describes the same scenario I just gave you, taking place in an environment that at least used to be not unlike traditional barbershops in terms of being places where humans tend to interact, whether they know each other or not. She describes, “a row of barstools filled with people downing their beers and hunched over their hands, scrolling their feeds, never taking an eye off their screens.” But it’s not just happening in bars. One can witness this behavior firsthand almost anywhere. Just take a moment and look up from your phone; you’ll see it.
Now mind you, over the past decade or so, I have evolved into one of these people I have been describing, i.e. eyes down and nose to phone whenever I was among people I didn’t know. Hell, I even did it at home, surrounded by people I do know. I acknowledge having developed this behavior expressly because I am not terribly proud of it. The more I learned about the negative effects of this behavior, the more I desired to turn it around.
So I recently began an experiment, even before having read the Fast Company article, while out and about in public places. I began to engage people, sometimes verbally and other times with a friendly smile, nod, or wave. I just wanted to see if there were other people out there who, like me, longed for human contact. For me, this engaging activity was nothing new. In fact, it’s something rather old. I watched my parents and grandparents do it all the time when I was a kid. It was common courtesy back then to greet people whom you passed while walking down the street, entering a place of business, etc. In fact, back in the 1960’s and ’70’s, a person would stand out by not doing so.
What did I learn? In short order, I discovered that a number of people, especially older adults and really young children, acted as though they had been waiting for someone to acknowledge their presence. My assumption is that the older folks missed the human engagement that was once commonplace and the little kids simply hadn’t yet learned to ignore people.
For example, there is a healthcare facility that my wife visits with some frequency. Like nearly every other healthcare facility I have visited, the waiting room tends to be populated but quiet. You guessed it, a roomful of people staring at their phones, doing paperwork, whatever, but not acknowledging one another. One time, just for grins, I verbally greeted the front desk staff as I walked through the doorway. They naturally lit up and acknowledged me back. I can’t be 100% certain, but I think a few people might have glanced away from their screens just long enough to notice the anomaly.
There is an older gentleman, even older than me, who brings his wife in and proceeds to work some sort of puzzles, perhaps crosswords, while he waits. He carries with him a raft of papers, a large clipboard, and one or more writing instruments. I found him interesting. The next time I saw the gentleman, I greeted him as he approached a corner chair, carrying his paraphernalia. He clearly wasn’t expecting that, but he looked up, smiled, and returned my greeting. When I left, bid him a good day and again, he returned the courtesy.
See how easy this is?
Right before the holidays, I was sitting in the same waiting room, only it was deserted. That’s right, even the front desk had been vacated for the day. My wife had already been taken in back and I was sitting in the waiting room, alone, reading a book. Another patron walked in and stood at the front desk, looking about for a staff member, but not looking at me or even in my direction. I waited for a moment, to see whether anyone would come out from the back area, and when nobody did so, I spoke aloud to the man, piercing the silence with my voice.
“Hi. There’s nobody working the front desk tonight, but I’m sure somebody will be out in a moment.”
Startled by the fact that someone in the waiting room was speaking to him, the gentleman turned toward me and nodded. At the same instant, perhaps having been summoned by my voice, a staff member came out from the back area and escorted the gentleman in. The story might have ended there, but it didn’t.
On our way out of the building, the same man walked up to my wife and me, smiling, and asked me a riddle. I no longer recall the question or the punchline, but it left my wife and I laughing out loud. The man smiled and asked another riddle. This time all three of us were chuckling and we wished one another a happy New Year as we parted ways. Thirty minutes earlier, that man didn’t even look at me. Now he was making a deliberate effort, in a different part of the building, to share a couple of jokes with me. I knew I was onto something.
As we begin another brand-new year, I have resolved to become more human again. I want to spend less time staring into the blue light abyss of my various screens and spend more time talking to people and listening to what they have to say. I know that some will withdraw in fear and suspicion, but others will respond favorably, maybe even gratefully. I want to do this because I already know that I will be better off for having done so. And maybe, just maybe, those I encounter will find themselves better off as well.
If nothing else, I may learn a new joke now and then. As always, thanks for hanging with me.
In the journey called life, my path has been rather rocky lately. And as the effects of life are cumulative, you might say I had been gathering rocks for a while. The care of one’s self is, I believe, a critical aspect of any life lived well. As the saying goes, one cannot pour from an empty cup. So for the sake of my mind, body, and spirit—in other words, my whole person—I need to get away and be with myself every so often. This was one of those times.
After a week filled with rainy days and unpleasant chores, I noticed the approach of something I don’t often see: an open Sunday, free of appointments, commitments, or deadlines. Without hesitation, I called dibs on myself for the entire day and made plans to not be around. When that Sunday morning arrived, I opened my eyes and smiled from within, giving thanks for the day, for my life, and for everything that goes with it. Then, after performing my daily hygiene and grooming routine, I set off for a bit of quality alone time.
Roughly two hours from my home in the exurbs of Chicago lies the Anderson Japanese Gardens of Rockford, Illinois. Established in 1978 by Rockford businessman John Anderson, the current property occupies about 12 acres and features the work of the renowned Japanese landscape architect Hoichi Kurisu. This site has achieved recognition as one of the top Japanese gardens in North America. I made my first visit to the gardens on August 30 of 2009, with a motorcycle club over which I had been presiding at the time, based on the recommendation of a dear friend and riding buddy of mine named Vern. By sheer coincidence, I returned with another dear friend, again by motorcycle, on the exact same date in 2019. If memory serves, Vern and I returned with my son somewhere between those two visits, again by motorcycle.
This visit was to be a first on several counts. I had never been to Anderson Japanese Gardens during the fall season; I had never gone alone; and although I hadn’t realized this before now, I had never gone there by automobile. The day proved to be bright and sunny, albeit seasonably cool, exactly as had been forecast. My anticipation built as I drove on.
Upon arriving, I began to question my choice of going on a Sunday, which in hindsight was also a first. The main parking lot was nearly full, again a first, but I found a partially shaded space, walked to the welcome center entrance, bought my admission, and entered the garden. Yes, there were more people there than I had hoped to find, but I wouldn’t say it was crowded. In addition, most of the people I encountered seemed genuinely pleased to be there. Nearly everyone was smiling and the older folks, like myself, were visibly acknowledging and saying hi as we passed one another. Some even offered me helpful advice like, “There are fewer steps if you go that way.” I know, I know, old people talk. Still, I was grateful for the tip.
Using the map provided at the admission counter, I walked the entire garden. In fact, I walked some parts twice. Due to the number of visitors, I wasn’t likely to find a quiet spot where one could sit for a while and take it all in, a pleasant experience here. The garden is intended to be a place of healing and the three primary elements of any Japanese garden—stone, water, and living plants—all work toward that end.
As an aside, have you ever meditated with a tree? I mentioned this concept briefly in my post “The Things That Nearly Didn’t Happen” last year, but without much detail. Imagine sitting in view of a beautiful tree, or perhaps more than one, meditating. As you breathe in and out, fully in the moment, you see, feel, and hear a gentle breeze moving the branches and leaves on the tree. In that moment, both you and the tree are experiencing that breeze. Both you and the tree are breathing that air, although not exactly the same way. To be in that state of awareness, of oneness with the creation that surrounds you, is both peaceful and powerful. Gardens like this are designed for such experiences.
I did manage to do some simple breathing meditation as I wandered about. The fall colors were splendid, especially on such a sunny day. The ponds and waterfalls reflected the bright sunlight, yet remained peaceful elements of the gardens. While I would prefer to visit on a weekday, when the grounds are less populated, despite the number of visitors on this Sunday, I felt no desire to rush through or to leave before I had finished my experience. In all candor, I did not encounter one rude person there. Quite the opposite, in fact, I encountered more polite, even friendly, people than I would normally expect to find within a hundred miles of my home. Even the small children were, for the most part, well-behaved. In case you are wondering, yes, it feels odd that being surrounded by nice people is so noteworthy. What a sad commentary on our society!
Speaking of young people, it so happens that Anderson Japanese Gardens was hosting The Path of Pumpkins, an exhibit/competition of carved and decorated pumpkins submitted by schools in the region. Along with my admission sticker, I was given a ballot card on which to vote for whichever school I felt had submitted the best entries. The top three schools win cash prizes. I did cast my vote before leaving, but it was not an easy choice. There is apparently a good deal of artistic talent at the participating schools!
In all, I spent better than an hour and a half at the gardens, probably the longest I’ve ever stayed there. The reason I stayed so long is twofold. First, I wasn’t there with a group or with anybody, for that matter, so the only schedule I had to keep was my own, and I had none. And second, having no set schedule or agenda, I retraced a few areas just because I wanted to experience them one more time before leaving. As it turns out, I departed not a moment too soon. Just as I was rolling out of the parking lot, I observed an enormous, unmarked tour bus unloading a large number of people who had formed a queue waiting to get through the doors of the welcome center. Perfect timing, I’d say!
Before heading toward home, I opted to have something good for lunch. Prior to making this trip, I consulted a dear friend who had lived in Rockford and she provided two worthwhile suggestions. At first glance, both seemed a bit pricey, especially for a guy who would be eating alone and not trying to impress anyone, but as I have maintained for decades now, there is no substitute for local knowledge. I opted to try Baker Street Burgers, which oddly enough is located on Alpine Road (ooh a mystery). BSB is a charming place with a warm, friendly, and attentive staff. I would urge potential customers to arrive hungry, as I had. All the burger offerings are over the top and generously portioned. My order arrived looking like one of those advertisements that the fast food giants are now being sued over for not living up to the images. This thing was gorgeous and oh, so delicious!
And so ended my visit to Rockford for a delightful Japanese garden experience followed by an equally delightful early afternoon meal. I’m sure I’ll be back. As always, thanks for hanging with me.
This Is MGD Time 